OLD- Before home argument

Today was one of the hardest days I have ever had to go through. After yesterday, not speaking with you the rest of the day and then hearing nothing from you today has been driving me insane. I am missing you like crazy. You’re voice, your laughter, your stories. I miss it all. I don’t know what I did that could cause you so much rage and hostility towards me. I have been thinking about you constantly, non stop. A minute doesn’t go by that I am consumed with the thought that I caused you to come at me like that. I know that we’re both pig headed and stubborn and it beats me how we’ve maintained to keep such a close relationship with each other regardless of that. But you mean so much to me and I don’t want to throw everything down the drain at this point. You are leaving me with no doubt in my mind that you have never cared for me. As much as my brain is telling me that I irked you by responding that you don’t love me, some part of me is saying that if there was the tiniest ounce that you did, you would have no way responded to me in that manner. I would have never, ever let you ever think for a second that I don’t love you. Especially by using a string of profanities aimed at you. You mean to much for me to ever let you go on thinking that I think so low and poorly of you. Whatever that has been bothering you for the past few weeks, ever since we got into that fight over A, has been really troublesome to me. I have endlessly tried to convey my affection for you and I am now seeing that this change in attitude on my part, the extra attention has in fact pushed you away from me instead of compensating for that fight we had. Not a day has gone by in the past few months that we haven’t spoken or texted or communicated in some way, and I really hope that today is the only day that this is the case. Hopefully you are somewhere on the same page as me. Yesterday you replied that you were being serious with me when you said that you didn’t love me and that I should fuck myself. I don’t know what to make of that, because, in fact you were the person who initiated this phrase between the two of us. Because, frankly, I don’t really say I love you to that many people. I guess I was under the wrong impression all along assuming you were a genuine person and that I meant something to you. The way in which you were responding yesterday, isn’t a way someone would even treat his own enemy. I don’t get it. I don’t know what your problem is. The sad part is that letting this all settle in my head and having a day go by all I can think is that I want nothing more than to hear your voice on my phone. I just want to forget about all the hurt and pain I went through yesterday. I want to put it aside and just forget it, when I know, that in fact I should be the one mad at you for attacking me in such away. But all I can do is find fault in myself. I guess that is what happens when you fall in love. I just really miss you, baby. Please come back to me. Please. I need you.